-Mr. Antlion: *Steps up to a pedestal and noisily clears throat before directing his booming voice into a microphone* "Ahem! Good evening my obedient mind slaves. Today, for you my most beloved CATTLE, I have a few very important announcement to-"

-Crispy: "Oo, oo! Spsssst! Mr. Antlion! Can I do the speach, huh? can I? Can I?? Please, please, please, Puhleeeeze? ♥ Pretty please with a big fat cherry on t-"

-Mr. Antlion: "-NO- YOU BRAINLESS BLIGHT ON ALL OF CAT KIND!"

-Crispy: *Pouty face* "Awww, c'mon Mr. Antlion! Gee whiz, You -never- let me do any of the fun stuff...

-Mr. Antlion: "And you may rest assured, you clueless whisp of fur, that it shall REMAIN that way. Now remove your reeking feline carcass from my sight before I obliterate you with- Augh! What on Earth do you think you're doing?! RELEASE ME THIS INSTANT! LOWER ANIMAL! I COMMAND YOU!!"

-Crispy: *Keeping an effortless grip on the struggling dictator's small red cape between her thumb and forefinger, she gently lifts the tyrant down from the pedestal and into a conviniently placed playpen on stage, (full of puppies, duckies, chickies, kittens and other exceedingly adorable baby animals) before turning back to address the readers, oblivious to the ranting leader and his threats* "Ah ah ah, share and share alike!"

-Mr. Antlion: "MANGY CUR!!"

-Crispy: *Cheerfully* "So then! First thing on the agenda is-...er, uhm..Oh! Right, right. The FIRST thing on the agenda is-...uh..uhmmm...*jerks back her head without any warning, or for that matter, any logical reason. Arms limp, eyes blank, mouth wide open like some stupid farmyard turkey drowning in the rain, she continues her big important speech thusly;* Duuuuuuuuuuuhhh..."

-Bishounen Bear: "Derp.

-Lofty Heart: "Fail. Okay, okay, It's alright everyone, just stay in your seats! It just so happens that I speak fluently in Moron. I will now interpret Crispy's incomprehensible cat jargon to the readers!"

-Crispy: "Blahrg, duh, duh, nrrrrg... PHHHHHT!"

-Lofty Heart: "Sports fans, this could take a little while for you to digest but...but I don't think I'll be able to take requests anymore!"

-Crispy: *Pitiful whining noises* Mmmmmh buggerboo!"

-Lofty Heart: "Due to some very unforseen circumstances-"

-Crispy: "Naa uua."

-Lofty Heart: "-And...and relentless...pork..chops?"

-Crispy: *enthusiastic nodding*

-Lofty Heart: *Raising a questioning eyebrow before continuing* "Due to some very unforseen circumstances and "relentless porkchops", it is now highly probable that I may soon have to abandon requests forever, favoring instead, (quite against my own wishes I assure you!) paid commisions..."

*The crowd gasps, before decending into a series of hushed murmuring and whispering*

-Lofty Heart: "Quiet everyone, please, quiet! Don't forget, she only said 'highly probable', let's not jump to conclusions."

-Crispy: "Rama lama ding dong! Zip, zang, ZOOM!"

-Lofty Heart: "Hmm? Oh! Right then." *continuing translation* "But, assuming that such a thing does indeed come to pass, then I must humbly ask you, loyal readers, to do the unthinkable. Something mind boggling. Something mad, absolutely, senselessly mad! Something that will eat away at the very depths of your immortal soul!

What I'm about to ask you to do, readers, is something that grown men, when confronted with the very idea of the thing, flee in terror SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER;

Actually spending -real- money (as opposed to the usual tanned beaver hides) on ThisCrispyKat's measly, half-hearted, shallow attempts at valid artwork!"

*Que the screechy, hair raising violin music*

-Crispy: *Sitting down with a heavy thud, she hangs her head solemnly* Boom shaka laka...

-Lofty Heart: *Mimicking the gesture* "Lord Antlion help us all..."

*A moment of silence before the two, having become aware of a ripping sound in the background, turn their attention towards the playpen where Mr. Antlion was apparently struggling to win his cape back in a match of Tug-of-War from a tiny, but very persistent, chocolate coloured puppydog*

-Mr. Antlion: "YOU WILL RELEASE THE ROYAL CAPE AND BEG FOR MY FORGIVENESS AT ONCE, YOU FILTHY, WORTHLESS, FLEA-RIDDEN- What the devil?!

*being engulfed by a hoard of chirping chickies, whining pups, and mewing kittens as all the baby animals appear to move towards Mr. Antlion at the center of the pen. Apparently the little creatures are fond of him. However, the same can obviously not be said for the tyranical dictator as he screams and squirms in a vain attempt to escape them all somehow. Sadly, all his best efforts are for naught, and he slowly disapears beneath a mound of squeeking, licking, nuzzling, snuggling, teeny tiny, itsy bitsy, sugary sweet cuteness*

-Mr. Antlion: *Horrified* "No...NO! NOT LIKE THIS! -ANYTHING- BUT THIS!! NNNOOOOOooooo....!!