Shameless Palladium Ripoff

After Palladium left I must've made a legion of Henri clones to fill the rooster-shaped hole in my heart, I ended up scrapping all of them either because they looked too much like Henri or not enough like Henri. There was an ex-Catholic priest rooster of French ancestry from Vienna, a Parisian pigeon, a Polish school teacher rooster who eventually became Russian, then Lithuanian, Romanian, Ukrainian, and finally Bulgarian, an openly gay albatross-gryphon sea captain from Northern France, and a mish-mashed capricorn/unicorn/dragon/rooster mutt who looked like a James Bond villain.

But this Monsieur holds the distinction of being the first Henri clone I ever made post-Palladium reunion. Why would I make an Henri clone now that actual Henri may be used? Well, Herr Katanarkao works extremely hard on his characters, and in the past I know it would occasionally upset him, the way I'd twist Palladium's personality (he wouldn't actually try to get into Klaus' tunic, that's something I made up. I can see cannon Palladium occasionally flirting with The General just to ruffle his feathers, but I highly doubt he'd do it half as often as I make him do it. Plus Henri's married) and character design (the real Palladium is actually much pointier, my interpretation of his design is based off Alan-A-Dale, the bard from Disney's Robinhood.)

On top of that a lot of people got to thinking Palladium was my OC when he was really Herr Katanarkao's old fursona, so I figured it'd set things right and make everyone happy if I went ahead and made my own white cock, someone I can force to do stuff Palladium would never do. Like, I don't know, French Klaus, give him a purple nurple, then sleep naked in a hammock somewhere in the steel framework of the Eiffel Tower in no particular order: enter Ansel, finest cockatrice in all of France! That's pronounced "Aww-Sell," not "Anne-Suhl" by the way, assuming Google Translate isn't bullscheissing me.

Hm? "Does this mean we'll never see Palladium again?" Oh, of course not! I'll still draw him if Herr Katanarkao doesn't mind the occasional out-of-character antic, and maybe Ansel can join in the fun! Now Klaus can have two big white French cocks refusing to respect his personal space! Perhaps they'll vy for his attention, maybe demonstrate their prowess on the "battlefield" by catching him in a pincer movement? Nudgenudgewinkwinkdirtymilitaryeuphemism?

Better step up your antics, Henri! Ansel's gayer than a Central Park penguin and he isn't hitched!

General Klaus: "Henri, ist zhat you?"

Ansel: "Who, moi? Non non non, I am Ansel, finest cockatrice in all of France!"

General Klaus: "Schtop foolink around, Henri! Und take zhose horns off, you look absurd."

Ansel: "Oh, what a firm grip, Monsieur!"

General Klaus: "Got im Himmel, zhey're real! Es tut mir leid, mein Herr, es tut mir sehr, sehr leid! I-I sought you vere somevun else."

Ansel: "Eet eez alright, I am zee animal fantastique, laik yourself. I am not made of glass."

General Klaus: "Alle zuh same, zhat vas not becomeink of ein beast of mein rank."

Ansel: "Oui, I saw that you are a meelitary man, zee very reason I approached!"

General Klaus: "You haff ein interest in zuh military?"

Ansel: "I am zee meelitary, Monsieur! Veteran of zee Great War."

General Klaus: "Vhat ein coincidence, so am I! Zuh Great Var... I haven't heard zhat term used in vhat feels like ein drachen's age."

Ansel: "Ah, eet eez good 'aving someone to talk too, most of my former camarades, they simply, 'ow you say..."

General Klaus: "Schtare eintausend yards ahead und shut up like ein schloss under siege? Herr Goebbels vas tellink zuh Führer just zuh ozher day zhat he does zhat, had he fought in zuh var he'd know vhy. Verdammt Maschinengewehre."

Ansel: "And zee shelleengs and barbed wire."

General Klaus: "Und zhose höllisch trenches. Granted, ve Deutschen at least knew how to build ein trench. You should haff seen zhose rattenlöcher zuh Britisch und Amerikaner vere verrotten im, hah!"

Ansel: "Zuh gas."

General Klaus: "Oh, don't get mich schtarted on das senfgas. Look, see mein feazhers puffink up?"

Ansel: "Lung and throat damage, non? I knew your voice sounded zee leetle bit too old for your face, Monsieur."

General Klaus: "You should hear es after I've dusted. Come, let's not sprechen im zhis nondescript brun Niemandsland, shall ve acquire ein seat at zuh cafe?"

Ansel: "I would rathair acquire zee bed at ma maison, mon beau soldat."

General Klaus: "Entschuldigen Sie?"

Ansel: "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?"

General Klaus: "... HENRI, ZHAT IST YOU!"

Ansel: "Je suis désolé, monsieur, you are mistaken! Unless zees Henri eez your amoureux, een wheech case I am he."

General Klaus: "GENERAL HENRI PALLADIUM, I ORDER YOU TO SCHTOP RUNNINK!"

Ansel: "Your rank eez 'igher? Zees cannot be so, you look like un général. Zee field marshal's collar tabs were different, I know eet. Well, whethair or not zhis Palladium eez below you, I would laik to be above, non? hon hon hon!"

General Klaus: "ICH WERDE DICH TÖTEN!"